They jokes
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they can't get a green card.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.