They jokes
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.