Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Why can you bully an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
