That jokes

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.

So I told him he was on my cock.

(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.

What is a dog that is Christmas?

A Christmas tree dog!

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?

Home buttons.

When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.