That jokes

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?

Broken plates.

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

Your fay.

Well, you're the thing that sunk the Titanic.

"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."

"Did I do that?"

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.

But I realized I can't see him. LOL!

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.

Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!

Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.