That jokes
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."