That jokes

Visa

    • I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

    The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

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    • Man

    • What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

    A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

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    • Rat

    • There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

    Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.

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    • That memes

    Titanic

    • My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.

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    • Democrat

    • Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.

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    • EpiPen

    • I have an EpiPen.

    My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

    It seemed really important to him that I have it.

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    • Name

    • If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

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    • Chemo

    • I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

    Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

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    • Cookie

    • Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

    Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

    Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

    Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

    Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

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    • Depression

    • Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Insomnia.

    You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...

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    • Sibling

    • I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.

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    • Shit

    • Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

    Doc: What's wrong with that?

    Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

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    • Deaf people

    • Dear Hearing People,

    We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

    Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

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