That jokes

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.

What is a dog that is Christmas?

A Christmas tree dog!

My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.

You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.

You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?

Tamaleto.

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.