That Jokes

The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!

Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

If you non-band kids were wondering what band looks like

A meme with the text "Middle school band section stereotypes starterpack". It shows different band instruments with labels underneath: "Trumpets: assholes who were too loud", "Flutes: Mostly girls", "Trombones: The dumbasses", "Percussion: Kids with severe ADHD", "Tubas: That weird but loveable kid", "Clarinets: The incredibly average kids", "Baritones/Euphoniums: The weird kid that drank Monster and wore DC shoes", "French horns: The know-it-alls", "Saxophones: The "cool" kids who loved Ska and ultimate frisbee."

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.

Us: haha penis.

Korea: That sounds like a park name.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

100 dead babies in a trash can.

What is worse than that?

There's a live one at the bottom.

What is worse than that?

It eats its way out.

What is worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.

I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

What kind of bear has no teeth?

A gummy bear.

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...