That jokes

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?

Hot Wheels.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹

That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Biden and Trump.

That's it. That's the joke.

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

What pool never runs dry?

The one on the Titanic.

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl of chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"

The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."

Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.

You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.

What is a cow that does magic?

A smart cow.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.