That jokes

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head? A pentagon! (9/11 joke)

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

A blind guy walks into the door of a bar...

That's it... that's the end of the joke.

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

She says, "Vinegar and water."

What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?

Not yo cheese!

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.

Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

Because he thought that she would leave him too.

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"

"It's a girl."

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

I miss understood that, Miss Understood.