That jokes

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.