That jokes

Well

Why did the old man fall down a well?

He couldn't see that well.

Man

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Wheelchair

My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."

Jesus

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Memes

Hell

i keep asking explain bear to make me welcome since im new but why dont you

Two men are handling a pot in a basin. A close-up of a man's bulging belly is shown below. The text says: "I don't know what they cooking but that tummy looks happy as hell."

Blowjob

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

School Shooter

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

Teacher

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

Flirt

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Gun

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

Gonorrhea

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

Word

What's an old Japanese man's last words?

"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

Priest

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

Holiday

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Technology

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

Blood Type

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"