That jokes
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.