That jokes
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.