What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
That Jokes
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.
*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
