That jokes
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
What can fly?
Bird.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol