That jokes
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
Memes
wear sweatpants.
Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
Well, I didnβt get as high as I wanted to, but Iβm high enough that if I fall Iβd probably break something.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! Iβm going home now."
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.