That jokes
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
Another Nazi joke.
Did Nazi that coming?
Did Jew?
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.