That jokes

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Your mom is so fat, that burger.

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?

The cheetah became spotless!

I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.