That jokes
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
Memes
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.