That jokes

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

What do you call a midget that waves at you?

A microwave.

If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the side that he was not on.

Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?

Except at a funeral.

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!