That jokes

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

Whoever said that about me better pray!

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

What are two things that an orphan can’t have?

Two parents.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.