That jokes

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.