That jokes

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.

Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?

They have the same hitbox.

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

It's statistically proven that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.

The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.