I found a key that works for every door at my school.
That Jokes
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
2001/9/11, that day was fire.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
