That jokes

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?

That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!

Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.

South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.

North Tower: No, that was da plane.