That jokes

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?

They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.

South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.

North Tower: No, that was da plane.

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?

Stuffed.

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"