That jokes

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.

I didn't ask: ❌

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?

Rainbow road.

Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

An irrel-elephant ;)

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?

To prove that he was not chicken.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you, that is who.

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"