That jokes

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Car-los

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.