That jokes

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!

Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.

What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.