That jokes

Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.

Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

The pie tasted weird today.

Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.