That jokes

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.

What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"