That jokes

🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?

An orphan.

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

12 months of training completely wasted.

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?