That jokes

Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the Equator.

Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

Your hairline is so far back that your forehead looks like a growing parasite!

I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?

A galiminus.

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.