That jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Why do orphans go to prison?

Because that's their only home.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.