That jokes

Mummy

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

Soda

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

Cock

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!

Memes

Fish

I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.

Kid

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

Photosynthesis

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Mama

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

Orphan

Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.

Yo mama

Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.

My friend: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: O B C D.

Titanic

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

Pilot

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

Movie

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

Fruitcake

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Ugliness

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.