That jokes

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.

What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!