That jokes

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

What do you call a dog that tells the time?

A watchdog.

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.