That jokes

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

Yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet, she is worldwide.

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

My friend: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂