That jokes
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O