China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.
That Jokes
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
