That jokes
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)