That jokes

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?

Look at that dino-sour!

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

What do you call a dog that tells the time?

A watchdog.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."