That jokes
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!