That jokes

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

Wrapped around that tree.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!