That jokes
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Memes
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)