That jokes

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.

Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?

Look at that dino-sour!

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

What do you call a dog that tells the time?

A watchdog.