That jokes

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?

Look at that dino-sour!

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

What do you call a dog that tells the time?

A watchdog.

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.