Criminal Record jokes

Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

Why do orphans have criminal records?

So they can be wanted.

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

"No."

"Have you always been honest?"

"No, never been caught!"