Tell jokes

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

can someone please tell what happened?

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.

Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

Hello, are you there?

Yes, who are you?

My name is Watt.

What’s your name?

Watt’s my name.

Yes, what is your name?

My name is John Watt.

John What?

Yes, are you Jones?

No, I’m Knott.

Will you tell me your name?

Will Knott.

Why not?

My name is Knott.

Not what?

Not Watt, Knott!

*hangs up*

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."