Tell jokes

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

HELP! HELP!

TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.