Tell jokes

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.

Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."