Tell jokes

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.

What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?

Family jokes.

Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

HELP! HELP!

TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.