Tell jokes
Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
I just went to a Halloween party for rappers and rap DJs from the Czech Republic, and everyone was dressed in the same costume! I couldn't tell which witch was Wich!
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
My name is Watt.
What’s your name?
Watt’s my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John What?
Yes, are you Jones?
No, I’m Knott.
Will you tell me your name?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!
*hangs up*