Tell jokes

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?

Family jokes.

A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!

Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).

Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"