Technology jokes
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
I love my new phone.
Memes
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
"Room, you on."
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.