Technology jokes
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Memes
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
My PC.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.