Technology jokes
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Why do orphans only have iPhone XR?
Because they don't have home buttons.
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.
Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Where's your off button?