Technology jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips š
Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.
I love my new phone.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
Memes
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.
Slade must be WiFi... because Iām not feeling a CONNECTION.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
SLADE is the reason they invented the PAUSE BUTTON.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasnāt a question.
Siri: Iām not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldnāt have pulled my grandmaās cord to live.