Technology jokes
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!