Technology jokes
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.