Technology jokes
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
Thatâs what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
What is Bill Gatesâ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.