Technology jokes
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.