Technology jokes
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.