Technology jokes
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!