A few kids were talking about how big there housed were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. 1 little boy said, bet I have the biggest home. To everyone's supprise he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Two skeleton brothers are talking 1st bro: Hey get up you and do some exercise you are so hevy you weigh a ton! 2nd bro: A skele-TON :)
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
A man comes home and hears her wife talking about having sex at the club, the man busts into the club with a revolver and says "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE" well everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says "mate you don't have enough bullets"
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What did the North tower say to the south tower. "sorry can't talk, got to catch a plane"
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce."
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, "u would never believe what i discovered." intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. "oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "oh sh*t...."
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
(First Person) :Knock Knock, Who there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, Knock Knock, who there, time to make a move, slayin all then demons and we gotta move in too. (Second Person): Knock Knock, (1st p): who there, let me talk to you, be careful where you stepin out cause you aint bullet proof, Knock Knock, who there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didnt come to hoop.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit
My Wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side So i crashed the car, then didnt talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason
China as fake as bitches with plastic surgery and talk bout body positivity
What talks high pitched and can’t fly?
A gay man in Iran
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?”, he said
“It’s because God made you special.”, she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
A wife says to her husband 'you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back' 'what do you expect' he says 'you're in a fucking wheelchair'
Last time i talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
