Asian Detective's Report

When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:

Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.

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Explanation

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Explain Bear

Alright, you hired a detective, that's a start. But instead of writing a proper report, the detective sounds like he just watched a soap opera with his eyes and then dictated it to a pigeon who then dropped it on your head. He couldn't keep his eyes to the task at hand, and ended up falling out of a tree. The punchline is, he didn't even do his job, that's why "no fee" which makes no sense.

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