Talk jokes
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Hey, talk to me here!
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!