Suicide jokes

What is an emo's favorite song?

"Suicidal."

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

What can't you say to an emo?

Hang in there, buddy!

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.

Is skin picking self-harm?

Cause I'm red all over without a razor.

Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.

How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?

Use he/him pronouns on him.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?

An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...