Suicide jokes

Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

Is skin picking self-harm?

Cause I'm red all over without a razor.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

What can't you say to an emo?

Hang in there, buddy!

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

What do depression and suicide have in common?

Nothing, they're both hanging.

What is an emo's favorite song?

"Suicidal."

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."