Suicide jokes

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

Rowan

DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."

And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...

On the floor.

And died.

The end.

God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.

Hitler: Kills himself.

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.

A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.

DEEZ NUTS!

Why did Aaron slit his wrists?

Because it's him.

Is laughing a problem?

Laughing at what?

I want to jump.

Jump—what?

Jump off the hook.

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

My life.

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

No joke.