Suicide jokes
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Me die.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.