Suicide jokes

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."

And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...

On the floor.

And died.

The end.

Rowan

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.

Hitler: Kills himself.

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.

A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.

DEEZ NUTS!

Why did Aaron slit his wrists?

Because it's him.

Is laughing a problem?

Laughing at what?

I want to jump.

Jump—what?

Jump off the hook.

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

My life.

My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.