Suicide jokes
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
Rowan
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...