Suicide jokes
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
How do you get a transwoman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."