Suicide jokes
Wait, that's me.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.