Suicide jokes
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.