Suicide jokes
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?
I'm gonna cut my life off.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.