Suicide jokes

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.

Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?

That one depressed friend.

How do you get an emo down from a tree?

Cut the rope!

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

How do emos fly? They hang themselves.

Let's have toast in the bath.

Did you know Kurt had dandruff?

Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.