Suicide jokes

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?

The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?

A. Cut the rope.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.