Suicide jokes

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?

A. Cut the rope.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?

Society.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.