Suicide jokes
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3