Suicide jokes
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
Memes
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.