Suicide jokes
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3