What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits the blow up
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him "What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are.
me to my friend: i only date suicidal girls my friend: why?? me: because that pussy is limited edition
Who are the worlds fastest readers? The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a Suicide bomber in a wheel chair? A RC-XD.
What is the difference between a Apple and a Orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Today a child asked if I was an angle, I asked why and he said "mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work
kys
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
After a suicide joke say Dont leave me hanging or i’ll cut it out
How did the man with no arms commit suicide? We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I laugh when I realized that my suicide letter is way more longer than my sibling's college essay.
What did one deperesed kid say to the other? Hey wanna hang together.
whats the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there
