Suicide jokes
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Why Bing is Superior tbh
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!