Suicide jokes
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
I want to di... dive! Yeah!
I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
We have decided to delete this part of this site on 10/24/2022.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Why did the feminist kill herself? Because she was TRIGGERED.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.