Strength jokes

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.

One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."

Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.

Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?

A. By using her equal strength.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.

The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?

(Doesn't have boss bar.)

What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.

What is the strongest creature in the sea? A mussel!

My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.