Strength jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps