Strong

Strong Jokes

God

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Depression

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Vegan

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

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  • Wordplay

    A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."

    Hand

    What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

    The back of my hand.

    Family

    What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

    "Family strong, but not that strong."

    Orphan

    Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.

    Headphone

    A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

    "My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

    And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

    "WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

    And so he did.

    Orphan

    When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

    Immortal

    Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

    Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

    Hand

    What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

    The back of my hand.

    Autism

    Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

    Empire

    The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

    Friend

    My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

    Bartender

    My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!

    Titanic

    Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

    Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

    3 minutes later:

    Why didn't I listen to the strong one?