Street Jokes

"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Cause he was on crack.

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

We not from 63RD. R.I.P

A man with braided hair, wearing a blue hoodie and a baseball cap, points with both hands at the camera. He is in a dark room and there are other people around him. Text on the image says: "We not from 63RD. R.I.P"

Me: Knock knock.

Some dude on the street: Who's there?

Me: Whowhowho.

Dude: Whowhowho who?

Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.

Also me: Are you okay?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?

Me: Because you have no family.

Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

You pick it up off the street.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.

Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?

After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.

Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."

The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!

Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"

The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.

Man: "Dolly!"

Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.