I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar? I hear they got six months each.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-
Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
i broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheel chair.
guess who came crawling back.
To the guy who in a wheel chair who stole my camoflauge coat u can hide bu you can run
my girlfreind dumped me; so i stole her wheelcar and guess hwo came crawl back
in the new grinch the whos would say he stole christmest get him then the grinch said im a orphan that changes everything the whos said what would they do if max was a orphan
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Why did the vegetable go to jail? He kaled a man and stole a 9 carrot gold bar.
Why do Orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people and also he stole their life story!
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well I have! I was wrongfully accused of larsiny yesterday, im not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.m
Why did the baseball player go to jail? Because he stole first base
Damn Really stole my friend glasses well now their blind but not really their dead.
I did this to my x I stole her wheal chair I new she would come crawling back
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
I know this girl Kamelah she say what are you looking at I said I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike? Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
wow he stole my antideprresive toy. the next day he was on the ground
