Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
Stole Jokes
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.
