Girlfriend

Anonymous

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

Chair

Anonymous

To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket, You can hide but you cant run.

Depression

Anus

To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

3

Angel

Big Boss Tom

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, “you forgot the remote”

Guy

Anonymous

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

Girlfriend

Anonymous

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

Annoying

ShiftyDealer69

Man: whats up? Me: im annoyed Man: Why? Me: I stole my gf’s heart Man: So why are you annoyed? Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks

1

Jesus

Anonymous

When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that’s not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

4

Anti-jokes

Unfunny Boi

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

No?

They both got six months.

Puns

N

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

1

Depression

Anonymous

To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you’re happy

Puns

The Flourine Bismuth

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: “I’m feeling really positive today” and the other replied: “I know. I stole your electron”. Then the first atom said “How Ionic”

Puns

Anonymous

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

0

Sister

Aiden

heres a list of puns not all of them are mine

1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

  1. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

  2. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Baseball

Daniel King

Why did the police 👮 go to a baseball ⚾️ game?

Because a player stole the base.

Depression

Anonymous

To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now

Cord

Anonymous

Somebody stole my joke

So i stole their spinal cord.

Grass

Tom

Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: “What’s wrong?” I said “How could you tell something was wrong?” they replied “you were looking forlorn”

Puns

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Police

T477Y

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.